Last week, a Gemini friend asked me for help because she was fighting for her life in a group chat. The subject: whether scissors are an acceptable implement for slicing pizza. “Of course!” I immediately wrote back. My Korean relatives use kitchen scissors for chopping up any food that crosses their table; my Tennessean mother won’t go to a restaurant without them. Why would anybody ever think pizza-scissors are weird? A few days later, Gemini sent me a screenshot and I finally found out what battle I had entered: she was trolling some pizza-devoted New Yorkers with a photo of tiny paper-cutting Friskers, and it turns out she doesn’t even personally eat pizza herself. Snip, snip, motherfuckers! Welcome to Gemini season.
Gemini is a mutable air sign that doesn’t feel comfortable when conversations grow too stable. Among loved ones, they stir the pot with playful teasing, demonstrating affection through intentional acts of provocation. Is this annoying? Obviously. Is it endearing? Of course, which is all the more irritating! But friendship with a Gemini is worth every bit of the exasperation. Gem will never ever let you go un-entertained, and when it comes to protection? They get downright rabid. Gemini spends approximately 94% of their waking life jokingly preparing to destroy an opponent, and when afforded a righteous target, they unleash!
Gemini are not an inherently unserious people. *Pause for laughter.* They really feel and mean things deeply! It’s their ability to pivot that confuses other signs, who are slower to absorb and commit to changing information. I’ve observed several older and much-wiser-than-myself Gemini specimens for years now, and they are truly awe-inspiring. My reaction to any of their exploits is always, “...what the fuck are you doing?” then, “oh my god, you DID it!” But by that time, Gemini has already moved on to the next project.
When Gemini aren’t joking, they care almost too much about your emotional interiority. That’s no reason to fear them, however! If you tell them to lighten up on interrogation, they’ll slip into a helium voice and speculate about cryptids or something instead. Gemini do have other shit to worry about besides your problems! They constantly feel compelled to bully actual assholes into retirement — or at the very least, hiding. Gemini always want to take the measure of people; they poke to determine depth and substance. On occasions when they encounter a spotlight sadly lacking a performer? Gemini nobly steps up to sub for Libra and the fire signs! A Gem always knows exactly how to keep any social situation from becoming too stagnant.
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